Just in case you were hiding in a cave for the past few months, Christmas is in like 2 days. TWO DAYS! I know, it snuck up on me too. I hate when that happens. I'm cruising along thinking there are long leisurely weeks left to do all the to-do's and then BLAM someone asks me if we're all ready for Christmas and I go NAH! there's plenty of time and they give me that look - you know the one- the look that clearly says I've had too many glasses of wine for lunch and reminds me that the big day is nigh on hand and the sound that I hear is the sucking of air through my brain as my head implodes.
Between setting up the Christmas tree - only the bottom half of the pre-lit tree is actually lit Thank You Blown Fuse two weeks later, the daily work schedule and the holiday lunches that may or may not have involved multiple glasses of wine, I feel completely unprepared for this Christmas. I can only thank whatever Gods are listening that my husband is the Uber-Shopper and took care of covering my ass by making the majority of shopping decisions and I will reward him with various sexual favors for being such a stand-up guy and doing all the Christmas shopping.
I did manage buy his present but it has not arrived yet which means I'm going to drive to Canada soon and gleefully beat someone for NOT BEING EFFICIENT this holiday mailing season. Two weeks is plenty of time to ship something from Canada, isn't it? IT SHOULD BE. By the way, I don't know about you but my husband? Is really really hard to buy gifts for and every year I drive myself further over the sanity cliff with this. Am I the only debilitated spousal shopper out there? Please tell me I'm not because that just makes me a lame ass.
There are many nights I'm out at school board meetings and, without fail, when I come home there is a note from my daughter placed in such a way that I CAN NOT miss its presence. She'll use a small t.v. table, prop a notebook on some object and leave it right inside the door so I just about trip over it on my way into the house. These notes ask me how my day was, tell me that she loves me, demands that I go in to hug & kiss her even if she is asleep and they are always signed "You're favorite Little Girl". It's a pretty nice welcome home after a long day. She's been adding the Christmas countdown for the past few because you know, PRESENTS!
I don't know if she still believes in Santa. I've been afraid to ask, but she wrote a letter the other day so she was either appeasing us or is still holding on to the belief of a little magic. I hope it's the latter, because if my magic loving favorite little girl to push aside Santa for the cold hard reality of online shopping, well that might just break my heart a little. There is still a belief in magic because when she heard about the possibility of snow this weekend, she mapped out what night would be the most promising to perform the snow dance. I think maybe we're safe with the Santa thing for a while.
My son sends me texts asking when I'll pick him up and if I can give him another twenty bucks. I should tell him never and no. Just to see what he says. He definitely doesn't believe in Santa any more and I get that, but he could at least pretend so I can pretend that my oldest is not about to start driving next year and I can keep him swaddled and safe.
Simple dog (read this, and you should because it is one of the funniest things ever) came home from an overnight stay in the kennel this weekend and has since taken up residence in an area of the kitchen that is most strategic for a)watching all food preparation for possible spillage recovery. Recovery being down her gaping maw. b)easy access to doors in case someone tries to escape without her knowing. c)The kitchen is the farthest place from any overnight bag that might be packed which would send her into a frenzy of panic at the possibility that the humans would leave again and she will never see her food bowl or my daughters bed again. I had to go pick up the boy from practice the other day and the dog damn near bowled me over as she bolted through the front door and tried to climb into the closed car window because she is that determined that NO ONE leaves WITHOUT her. EVER AGAIN.
This year I rejected the whole Christmas card pressure. There was no way I was going to find time to get them done so I just bagged the whole thing. I'm standing by the whole less is more thing this year so I'm sending out lots of Holiday wishes to everyone Telepathically and will make a bunch of phone calls for that up close and personal touch but I refuse to feel guilty for not sending out Christmas cards. Not even E-cards.
So for those that come and visit here Happy Holidays! For those that don't your telepathically delivered message will be arriving shortly, please tune into the appropriate frequency.
No comments:
Post a Comment