observing the political animal

The political animal is commonly found wallowing in the filth pits of self- aggrandizement, egoism, and popularity. Spending inexhaustible energy cultivating the look-at-me-and what-I’ve-done-for-you persona of public service, the political animal thrives in a take no prisoners social group that preys on the idealistic and less bloodthirsty creatures that sometimes wander into the watering hole these animals circle and guard with ferocity.

This mutated species is cunning in many ways and should not be underestimated for all their shallowness. They are specialists in duplicity and subterfuge. Words spoken one moment are often disavowed and the contradictory information spewed fervently from the other corner of the mouth, almost in the same breath. It’s a highly evolved skill, this double speak, and serves the political animal well, for it seems that despite all logical evidence, the political animal believes, without pause, every word that is uttered from its gaping maw, even when presented with the evidence to the contrary. I believe this is a survival skill required to exist in the fierce eat or be eaten environment that these animals navigate.

After observing this overly social creature, it is also worth documenting the social scheming that is a dynamic of the group structure. While other social species interact with the intent to build a group dynamic, the political animal employs a merciless strategy to befriend and undermine members of its tribe at every turn. This leads to instability of leadership within the pack and a lack of accomplishments that can raise the status of the group. A conniving or charismatic individual will often seek prominent standing within the group, pulling in weaker, less intelligent members of the group to help it reach prominence, all the while undermining those it sought help from reaching other levels of success.

There is a theory that should a sudden mass extinction of this animal occur, more would get accomplished for the greater good of all species, as these animals are all too eager to climb the food chain of politics with an eye to devouring those that actually do good things. It appears that the political animal is truly perplexed by those whose goals are not wrapped in the slippery skin of conceit and, when presented with such individuals, react much like a cross child with whining and sulking. These behaviors serve to undermine the growth of the larger social species.

The political animal should be kept at a distance from the greater population as their cunning chicanery can subvert the accomplishment of the greater good. In fact the continuing bloated growth of this demographic could threaten the delicate balance of the true public servant, another vanishing species, as the political animal is more aggressive and, despite a proclivity to eating their own, continue to propagate wildly. Should this terrible unbalancing event occur, devastation can be the only results. It is recommended that any interaction with this animal be under taken with an extremely cautious approach with tasers in hand as it is been documented that when in close proximity with other species they are prone to rabid unprovoked attacks.