here pussy pussy

There's a few stray cats that live around my neighborhood. I think one or two of my neighbors feed them and that's all well and good, because stray cats that other people feed don't bother me any as long as they provide effective rodent control for the privilege of using my back yard for their hedonistic nighttime forays.

I've been noticing recently that there's one cat in particular that likes to hang around my yard, on my deck, under my deck, under the garden shed and most importantly, right near the back door.

I hear it at night, making outdoor cat noises, skulking about in the unmowed grass (the kid is out of commission for another few weeks and who has time for lawn maintenance?) and prowling the perimeter.

Every so often I get a glimpse of this cat as I let the dog out so she can add another pile of shit on the grass or go have a barkfest with the dog next door. The cat hears us coming, I know it does, and then it just slinks out of sight, around the corner of the shed at the last possible moment, providing a glimpse of its tail, which drives my dog fucking bonkers. With the scent of cat still fresh in her nostrils she goes hauling ass off the deck trying to chase down the interloper, who has already disappeared into the overgrown garden or under the shed, probably chuckling its evil cat heart out at the futile pursuit by the inane canine.

My dog continues to frantically smell every inch of grass and dirt around the shed, looking at me with those big brown eyes that clearly ask "Which way did it go, which way did it go?"

For the next ten minutes the dog will pace and sniff, pace and sniff, trying to locate the damn cat that is, as I discover, sitting just out of reach under the shed, close enough to drive the damn dog insane with the scent.

This process occurs an average of three times a week. I can almost envision the scenario.

Several cats lounging near the neighbor's garage.

Orange tabby licks her front paw and yawns. I think I'll go chase down the mouse that's taken up residence in the abandoned camper two streets over. I like to hear it squeak when it sees me.

Gray cat stretches and flicks its tail. Hmm, there's a small nest in the bushes next to the deck of the red house that leaves the dried kibble out. There's a few hatchlings in it that keep me awake in the early morning. It's time to shut them up now, they're big enough to make it challenging.

Black cat with white tipped tail finishes grooming tail and smiles. I'm going to sit by the back door of the blue house and let that black dog get a good whiff of me. When it finally convinces its human to let it out, I'm going to let it chase me, get really close and then dive under the shed. That stupid dog will circle me for hours. I tease it by poking my nose out just before it gets to the opening I use to get in. You should see the drool run down its mouth when it sticks its muzzle in. Sometimes I scratch it. It never gets boring.

One of these days, the dog will close enough to take a big health bite. And I will laugh.