when good appliances go bad

I’m in mourning.

Truly. It seems a bit over-dramatic, but hey, I write a blog that tracks the minutia of my life, so why should this be any different.

When SuperHubby and I got married, my parents gave us a Farberware Convection/Broiler oven as a wedding present. I KNOW! Those wild people.

It is butt ugly, big, boxy & matte black, taking up precious counter space that I never had to spare. It makes cooking fast & simple, keeping my life just that one teensy bit less insane and stressed. 18 lb Turkey? Just over 4 hours, juicy and golden. 8 lb roast beef? 2 ½ hours, medium rare, succulent. And on and on it cooked.

This oven cut down on my cooking time by many, many hours over the past sixteen years. In my world, time is at a premium dammit! That extra hour I did not have to wait for some damn slab of meat to roast was spent on more productive endeavors, like another repeat episode of NCIS. (mmmm, Mark Harmon, mmmm.) I was smug in my cooking swiftness. No more long days preparing a large family dinner. This wonderful black box of circulating hot air cut my cooking time by half.

We use this bountiful heating box to make casseroles, reheat casseroles, bake stuff, roast various pieces of meats, cook up some gluten free pizzas and other assorted GF goodies for SuperHubby.

When Giggles got involved in Polymer Clay crafts, the box was asked to bake her crafty creations nice and solid. No problem, shove ‘em in, set that timer and Poof! hardened claywonderful creations!

My in-laws house is larger so most of the time we gather over there for holiday dinners. That monstrosity was hauled to their place regularly. It made the trek this Thanksgiving and cooked a golden juicy 18 lb turkey in no time. With no fuss, no mess and left the other less wonderful oven available for the rest of dinner preparations. It started making serious old man grumpy noises not long after that. We knew it wouldn’t be long before it gave up its last gasp, but hoped we’d get through once last holiday dinner.

We carted it over, carefully handling its passage, and offered it an 8 ½ lb roast to cook up for the Christmas 2009 dinner. Almost 3/4 of the way in the internal fan squealed and emitted a noise that only be compared to an elephant’s fart and then stopped working. The heating element then lost its warm cooking glow. A few solid thumps along the side had been effective in getting it back in working order the last few months, but to no avail this time.

Dead. Dead. Dead.

I shouldn't complain. This thing definitely gave us its all and then some. 16 years. Most marriages don't last that long these days, let alone appliances.
We moved the roast to the regular oven and finished cooking it. Turned out fine, but it took longer. The theme here is time and convenience, in case I haven't stressed that fact.

SuperHubby and I have spent considerable amounts of time trying to track a similar one down online, but Farberware no longer makes this type of convection/broiler. Fuckers. Why would they stop making this thing? Didn’t they know one day I would need another one? And now that day has come and I’m being forced to go back to the ordinary oven model and the long ass hours it takes to prepare food. I may go on a cooking strike.

See? I’m in mourning.

If anyone happens to have a Farberware T4850 Convection/Broiler oven stashed somewhere, in good working order, just waiting for a loving hand to use it, I’m your gal.