And off they go

It’s been a month of graduations around here. Giggles’ moving up ceremony was early in to mark her jump from elementary school to middle school. She ended 5th grade on good notes, receiving an Art award and a Writer’s Achievement award, which she was very proud of and even expected a little, because when I mentioned that I figured she would get such awards, her response was “of course I would.” Just a little confidence in herself, thankfully.

As is her way, she’s been pondering on this now for a few weeks and finally said it made her nervous, this change to 6th grade. Just think about it Mom, she said the other night. Six years in the same school, with the same kids and routines. The only thing I had to worry about every year was adjusting to new teachers and classes, everything else was familiar. These are as close to her words as I can get, but there’s some paraphrasing involved. Sometimes when I talk to my daughter, it seems like there’s another person inside her head, who has vast years of wisdom. Or she’s just a little overly dramatic; I suppose it depends on the day.

Now, she continued, I have to wonder all summer about new teachers, getting lost in a new school and Lockers! How am I going to find my locker? What about all those new kids coming form the other elementary schools? What are they going to be like, because I can’t handle another rowdy class like I had this year. (See? She’s 11. What 11 year old refers to their class as rowdy?) And math? 6th grade math might be the end of me. And with that she flopped back onto the couch in vexatious exhaustion.

We chatted for a time about exciting opportunities and the possibilities of new friends and activities. She practically drooled when walking around the art classes on the tour of the middle school. I had to snap my fingers in her face to get her head back into the present as she gazed at all the tools and paints. Art is good. With distracted thoughts of making artful things in 6th grade, the trepidation seemed to fade. Sometimes diversion is just that easy.

Ace, on the other hand, can’t wait to dive into high school. He’s ready to move up, with minor hesitation over some of the classwork. He can barely wait for wrestling and working out in the weight room. Tackling a new school is exciting for him. He’s not worried about the social dynamics as he’s gregarious and makes friends pretty easy. Giggles keeps an emotional distance that keeps her hovering at the fringes of groups, rather than diving in. merges into groups, forging new ones. It’s his nature.

Ace will embrace the whole high school experience, as he has middle school. He has a deep capacity to explore his environment and an unquenchable thirst to experience things his way. Hopefully, the academic effort he’s put forth this past year, which led him to relatively respectable grades, if one overlooks the C in science, will continue in 9th grade. He’s seen, this year, that he can handle any of the work that’s put before him. Most high school kids are that way, I suppose.

Being part of the Board of Education, I got what I consider the best perk of all this week by being able to hand Ace his diploma and give him a big smacking kiss in front of his classmates. He pretended to be annoyed by the kiss but in truth he was good with it. Luckily, my kid is okay with displays of affection, mostly. He took the ribbing from his friends good-naturedly as he made his way back to his seat.

We ride him pretty hard, sometimes I think maybe too hard, but we want our kids to know that anything is possible; they just have to work for it and do their best. I believe, regardless of the push back we get from them now, that this lesson will hold. As will the encouragement they get from us as we nudge them to try harder and exceed everyone’s expectations of them. We’re so incredible proud of both of them, which we try to convey regularly, while not letting them rest on those accomplishments, and that is not always an easy balance.

Another unexpected perk came during one of the High School graduations. Several years ago a young 14-year-old girl became our baby sitter for the summer. Jacqui was smart, responsible, good hearted and had that something extra in her eyes. She asked question after question, spent time playing with the kids while she was there, reading to them and not letting them rot in front of the TV, as some babysitters are wont to do. It was a pleasure coming home and chatting with her for a little while before dropping her off at home. Jacqui stopped babysitting in favor of her studies, sports and other extracurricular activities, but I kept up with her accomplishments through her Mom.

This year Jacqueline graduated high school with high honors in Science, Math and Language and was the Salutatorian for the first graduation class of the newest high school. Listening to this composed young woman present an exceptional speech, written with heart, humor and wisdom beyond her years, brought tears to my eyes. All the potential of that young 14-year-old girl was holding true and manifesting itself right in front of my eyes. I felt as proud to know her as I would have if she’d been my own child. I hope the world presents Jacqui with all the opportunity that she deserves. And hopefully I didn’t embarrass her with the tearful hug!