4 1/2 hours

That's how much time I spent sitting in an uncomfortable chair in the courtroom last night waiting for the resolution of my speeding ticket. 4 1/2 hours. Total time I spent with the prosecutor and Judge? 10 minutes. Truly.

Somewhere just into hour two my name was called for my turn with the prosecutor. I followed the police officer, who clearly had issues with his height based on the size of his ego, into the office and immediately the prosecutor asked for my name. Just as I got the words out of my mouth he quickly said "we'll knock the speeding down to 14 mph over the limit, which drops it to a 2 point violation, will you accept that?"

I wanted to ask what was behind door number two, but figured that would irritate the gun toting policemen present, because clearly the prosecutor needs body guards in this sleepy little burg, and really, what's the protocol here? Should I have bargained with them to drop the miles over the limit lower? It would still be a 2 point violation. The goal was keeping the points down so the insurance premiums wouldn't make my checkbook hemorrhage. The lawyer acquaintance I asked about this told me to take whatever deal the prosecutor offered that met the goal of lower points.

So I said Yes, Sir. That sounds fine. I signed my name on the dotted line thinking I was good to go pay my fine and head home earlier than expected. Except he told me that I had to go wait for the judge to hear my plea and present the fine. Still optimistic, I parked my ass front and center of the courtroom seating area so I could hop quickly up, say yes and leave. Only I waited. And waited. And waited. I think there may have been only three people waiting when I left.

On the flip side, I made it more than halfway through my book and heard some seriously funny and not so funny shit from the other people who were called up by the judge. The issues ranged from speeding violations (the speed trap I was caught in clearly netted a nice little sindfall of fines for the township), to noise disturbance violations to multiple instances of drunk driving (really really bad idea) and neighborly discord that had been to mediation twice and still the police get called 19 times a month. Can there really be that much discord between neighbors that cops have to be called that many times? Though I have to say the guy in the suit seemed like a real prick when he was speaking to the judge. I might have charged him a hefty fine just for the smarmy smirk on his face.

What also struck me was the complete lack of respect and general manners in people when they were called up by the Judge. Most people acknowledged themselves with an aggrieved "Yeah" and shuffled up to the dais. When they were asked questions, they responded with the same pissy tones and yeah's and uh-huh's. There was no indication of respect for the Judge by someone saying Yes, Ma'am or No, Ma'am, or Thank You. I know we all feel put upon being in court and having to face a Judge, but in the majority of cases I heard last night, people were in the wrong, myself included, and a little respect should be extended. Even if you feel you were wronged in the first place, extending that respect might keep your ass from a big fat fine or another court visit. Just sayin'.