Always a Witch

New book review for Always a Witch by Carolyn MacCullough up over on Book Ears, Go on over and check it out.

To be or Not to be...A Witch

What the kids have to say

This is sponsored content from
BlogHer and LG Text Ed

So, the whole conversation about texting and cyber bullying and sexting that I’ve been engaging my kids in has been happening during breakfast, throughout dinner, and in that time in the car between drop off and pick up from activities. A Mom has to get her kids attention when she can, after all. These days getting a direct answer from my 15 year old son Ace is something akin to a hundred year event, whereas my 12 year old daughter Giggles will ramble on about her day and thoughts and feelings all day long. It’s an interesting time here in Casa Catootes with all the teen and pre-teen hormones swirling in the atmosphere, but it can never be considered boring!

I’ve been asking questions of both my kids to gleam some insight into the always-mysterious workings of the teenage mind on the topic and let me tell you, it’s been an enlightening journey. And I know you want to know so without further delay because it’s been a long week and I’ve had to talk way too much, here are their responses to the questions from you and some others that came up along the way:
Q: Do you ever text a message that you would never say in person?
A: Giggles says Nuh uh. I only text my friends and family, so what wouldn’t I say to them that I would text?

A: Ace says Maybe. (I asked for more) Sometimes it’s easier just to text and it depends on the person and whether we’re good friends or not. -if you’re friends, why would you text it but not just say it?- He shrugged.


Q: How do you know whether something is acceptable to text?
A: Ace – If I’d get in trouble for saying or doing it in front of an adult, probably shouldn't text it. - Have you ever texted those over the line things. - His answer was a small smile with the ubiquitous teenage “Yeah.”

A: Giggles – I’m not sure what you mean, Mom. - I try and explain, doing a poor vague job of it. -I don't think so but I would need to see it to know whether it's one of those things that cross a line. - I think you would know.- Like that animated picture of the boy peeing on the cactus? - Worse than that.- Oh, I think I get it. Stuff like bad words and bad pictures and curse words. -Yeah.-


Q: Why would you text people/your friends if they are standing right next to you?
A: Ace – So no one else hears what I want to say to that friend.-Don’t you thin that might make other friends feel left out, or make another friend think they might be a target of gossip if they are net getting the same texts.- Ace shrugs and says “So?” (I’m not sure teenage boys are very concerned with social manners)

A: Giggles – Same reason, Mom. I might want to tell one friend something that another friend doesn’t care about.


Q: If you got a mean text from a friend that hurt your feelings, what would you do?
A: Ace – Text my friend back that they were being a jerk and ask what it was about. (Via text of course, I asked.)

A: Giggles – I’m not sure. I think I would show it to you or Dad because I wouldn’t know what to say to a friend that would do something like that.


Q: Have you heard about instances where friends were bullied or picked on through text messages?
A: Ace – Maybe. I think I heard about something in school with some girls but I don’t pay attention to that stuff.

A: Giggles – One of my friends said she got some texts from a girl who said she didn’t like her and that she was ugly. -How did that make your friend and you feel? – My friend was sad because she didn’t really know the other girl well and didn’t think she did anything to deserve the mean girl’s text. I was sad too, for my friend. Kids shouldn’t be mean.


Q: Have you ever received bullying/mean text messages? What did you do?
A: Ace – Yeah. You saw them, when that kid was texting me that he was going to beat me up, and other junk, and that was before you let me text anyone, remember? You took me to his house to show his parents and face off with him. His parents didn’t believe you until you showed them my phone with his messages. And then they were still all pissy. – Don’t say pissy - about it. -Then what happened?- Well, he stopped. I still didn’t like that you took me over there. –I know, but it worked.- Don’t ever make me do that again.

A: Giggles – No, not through texts, just when that girl in 4th grade told some of my friends that she didn’t like the way I dressed and that I was strange because I don’t care about clothes so much. I only text with my friends.


Q: Have you ever sent a mean text?
A: Ace – Maybe. But it would have been to a friend that I was mad at, or that I was just joking with, not someone I don’t like. Because why would I bother sending mean text messages to someone I’m a not friend with? (I’m not sure if I can work through that logic, but I get his point I suppose.)

A: Giggles – I don’t think so. I wanted to, to that girl that was mean to my friend but then I’d get in trouble.


Q:  Has anyone ever sent you a sext message?
A: Ace- Nah. That’s nasty. – What would you do if you did get one? – He shrugs. I don’t know, delete it probably. You and Dad told me about the kid that got in trouble for receiving that text picture of some girl’s boobs and how that could mess him up later. I think it’s weird that he got the message and got in trouble. It’s not like he took the picture of her boobs. She the stupid one for either taking that pic or letting someone else take it. I mean, that’s dumb Mom. -I know, but you’ve gotten jokes that are sexual and a couple of animated pictures that are a little risky for your age. You’ve shown them to me. Did you forward them to your friends? – Yeah, a couple. They were jokes and funny pictures! –Someone could feel that your sending those texts is a matter of sexual harassment or pornography, even though you thinkit was just funny. – People need to chill. –Let’s move along.

A: Giggles – Eeeeeewwww. I’d show you or Dad. And then delete it. Would you tell on the person who sent it? – Maybe. Depends on what it was and whether I thought they meant it as a joke or not. I would probably ask you to tell them to not send you that kind of thing again. If it was clearly meant as a bad thing, I would certainly confront the person who sent it and their parents. - That's good. Anyone who would send those kind of pictures should get in trouble. I wouldn't want anyone who would do that to be able to send me texts anymore or to be their friend.


Q: What if someone told you they had gotten a sext message? What would you do?
A: Ace – I don’t know. If they were upset by it? Tell them to talk with their parents I guess. Maybe ask you or Dad about it. If they didn’t care, why should I do anything?

A: Giggles – Tell them to tell their parents right away.

There you have it, the texting insights of my kids. From this I get that they hear what my husband and me are discussing with them and hope they keep that dialogue open as they navigate their teenage years. And that I need to have a social manners discussion with my son. He seems to have forgotten the basics.

Have you had a conversation with your kids (or nephews/nieces, grandchildren) about texting, sexting and safety?  BlogHer  is matching LG’s  donation of .50 to dosomething.org for every comment on this post, so please tell me about your conversation with your kids in the comments. Or if you haven’t had the conversation yet, what’s holding you back? Maybe another reader will have the perfect suggestion for how you can get your conversation going. It’s important for all our families, and dosomething.org will get a $1.00 for every comment, question or suggestion.

BOOK EARS Bookish Holiday Gift Guide

First ever Book Ears Holiday Gift Guide for the young adult and middle grade readers in your life!

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http://bookears.blogspot.com/2010/12/bookish-things-for-christmas-gifting.html

you've got text

This is sponsored content from
BlogHer and LG Text Ed

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The phone heralded the sound of an incoming text message for Ace and he pounced on it with alacrity because he's a teenager and the cellphone is now an extension of his body. I've seen him reduced to frantic agitation when he couldn't find his phone for the better part of 36 hours. Some days I wish cellphones have never been invented and then others I'm completely irritated if my kids don't immediately answer when I call. Instant contact gratification at its best. And worst. 

ROFLAO - that's what he did after reading the text and then his nimble almost manhand fingers tippity-tapped away on the phone keypad to send whatever response was required. Once that was done he plopped down next to me and demanded I read the funniest joke ever and thrust his phone into my face. So I read and I laughed, because it was funny. It was also so completely inappropriate that had I been thinking more parent-like, and if my sense of humor wasn't just as inappropriate, I would have stifled my chuckles and rebuked my kid for even thinking something so crass could be funny. But I am weak and sometimes inappropriate humor can be funny or most stand up comedians would be out of work.

Then I realized that this joke had come to him via text and, knowing my kid, he had just winged it back through the wireless network to any number of friends to share the funny. He's all about sharing, my boy.

Of course I asked him if he forwarded the text and he rattled off any number of friends and then I took a deep breath, mostly to get my chuckles under control because it was funny, and so I could put my Mom face on and talk about inappropriate text messages and how that one, while entertaining on some levels, levels most closely aligned with rancid potty humor, could be deemed offensive by any number of people and maybe before he decides to spread the funny, he should think about how such material could be perceived as offensive.

He immediately scoffed at my suggestion and went on to show me several more saved text messages containing similarly offensive jokes and I realized we had to have a more serious talk about how texting can cause trouble that might not immediately seem to be a problem.

The big question is what shape should that conversation take? I'm at two different ends of the texting spectrum here as Ace is entertained by the less than appropriate jokes and Giggles gets excited by animated sparkling kittens as her screen wallpaper.

We have an open dialogue all the time about the benefits of technology use and the pitfalls but texting and how it can be used in cyberbullying, sexting and texting while driving are all new issues that I find myself wondering if they really understand the ramifications of a careless action in this space. Chances are I'm not the only parent in the same boat. Me, LG and Blogher are huge advocates of these conversations and to that end, I'd like to take YOUR questions and interview my kids about their thoughts on texting, cyberbullying, sexting and texting while driving and then we'll give you, my friends, a view from the teenage texting seats on 12/15. Maybe we'll learn something.

So, please pepper me with questions to ask my kids in the comments section or email them to me at catutes at gmail dot com. They are, as always, more than happy to share what's on their minds and direct the conversation of this space. My daughter actually wants to write the next post about this topic so she is very eager to field your questions.

Because this topic is so important for our kids and their futures, BlogHer really wants to get the conversation about texting, sexting and safety going – both with our kids and among parents. It will match LG’s donation of .50 to dosomething.org for every comment on this post, so please give me your suggestions on questions for my kids. Dosomething.org will get a $1.00 for each and every one.

wide eyed, along for the ride

When I find an author I like to read, I will systematically get every title they have written until I catch up. I'm weird like that. This strategy usually keeps my Need-to-Read list quite full, usually overflowing with possibilities.

I'm listening to The Plantation by Chris Kuzneski right now and so far it delivers on the promise his other books did for me. Action right from the start by way of a night time forest chase followed by a sinister abduction of a pregnant woman as she leaves her doctor's office. Enter Jonathan Payne and David Jones, friends, wise asses and ex-military powerhouses. Another woman abducted turns out to be the girlfriend of Jonathan Payne, and he's not one to let the bad guys get pull that kind of crap.

Payne and Jones share a strong friendship through the bond of shared military experience, by way of the elite M.A.N.I.A.C. team, their dialogue it full of zings at each other with sarcasm to spare for anyone who gets in the way of their latest escapade. The action is constant and the plots twist and turn back on each other until the very end and I'm usually surprised by how it all wraps up.

For me, the best elements of a Chris Kuzneski book, beside the snappy dialogue between Payne and Jones, are the facts and historical tidbits that infuse the story. There is always something fascinating to be gleaned from the entertaining tale, as you are hauled, wide eyed, along for the adventure.

I've listened to each and every one of Mr. Kuzneski's books, so far all have been narrated by Dick Hill, who is one of the best audio book narrators by far.

***cross posted over at Book Ears, the audio book recommendation site I put together to share my thoughts on what I listen to on my commute. These are not compensated reviews.***

add a little Zest to your night

There's a new review up over at Catootes Reviews. Go check it out. You'll like it.