where, oh where, does my little dog go

Finding a reliable kennel for the dog to stay is a similar exercise to finding a reliable preschool for a toddler.

Where will my PRESHUS BEBE be safe?!?!

In the past we did the in-house method and that worked for a time. A couple of neighborhood kids would come at specified time frames to walk and feed the dog while we were away. But then those kids grew up and you know what? Teenagers are not as inclined to take on dog sitting like they used to do. Honestly? I’d prefer dog sitting to babysitting any day. I spent much of my teen years babysitting a variety of well behaved kids, not so well behaved kids and downright monsters, and I gotta say a hairy mutt that just wants to pee and eat wins hands down over fighting about bedtime with some kid who knows, deep down where it counts, that the babysitter holds no real power other than a size differential.

The dog on the other hand, if given enough belly scratches and treats, will promptly lie down on your feet and snore, leaving you in peace to watch television and stuff your face with junk food.

Maybe I should open up a dog sitting business….

When it was time to find the appropriate kennel I did what I do, which is gather as much information as humanly possible, promptly lose it, bother everyone I know who has dogs about the kennel they use, and then hit the internet to search for dog kennels in our area

The first one I visited was this lovely small farm with indoor kennels, raised mats for beds, a covered and uncovered play area. It smelled faintly of bleach and dog breath. The owner was a lovely woman currently housing a herd of newly bred chocolate lab puppies. Ah, this is it, I thought, Perfect. Bucolic setting, nurturing owner, and Playmates for Mah Puppeh! Then we discussed dollars.

I felt my head swoon. For that kind of money I could hire a permanent man servant to not only take care of the dog, but cook, clean and homeschool the kids. I thanked her so graciously for her time and wished her well with her puppies. I love my dog, but there are limits to that love and paying the total annual revenue of a small Pacific Island nation to house my dog for a week is one of those limits. Strike One.

The next place was your standard house, of which the owners had turned the basement into an in-home dog hotel! With a cutesy catchy name, they promised to love my dog as if it were their own. Except my dog would be crated all night, I had to pay extra if I wanted someone to play with my dog, supply my own food and bath the dog before checking her into her temporary suite. If she was unfriendly to the other dog guests, then she would be sequestered in her cage while the other dogs were out co-mingling. In addition to that lovely scenario, the cost per day was on par with the bucolic farm setting that would have fed, bathed and played without additional costs. The owner and house smelled as if they had been rolled in a pile of week old cigarette ashes. Strike Two.

Next up was another farm setting, this time what appeared to be a chicken coop converted into a dog kennel and grooming facility. The person who met us at the door was friendly but the cacophony of noise that erupted from the building was insane. I envisioned bedlam and all the inmates wanted out. The smell of dog piss that emanated from the building was enough to make me gag and stop breathing. . Just standing in the door way made me feel dirty. After politely listening to the disheveled person on duty extol the virtues of their kennel for a few moments, we walked as quickly as possible back to the car so we could get home and shower off the smell. Strike three.

I tried bribing my twenty-something nephew with an empty house, some booze and cable porn just to stop the madness, but that wasn’t enough to entice him to dog sit.

There was one more place on my list and I swore if this didn’t pan out, I was going to smuggle the damn dog onto the cruise ship.

Five minutes into the visit and I knew we had struck gold. Large kennels, covered and uncovered. Fenced in play areas. Each kennel had a clean fluffy bed, they provided the dog food and for a small extra fee would bathe and groom the dog on the scheduled pick up day. On staff was a veterinary student to cover immediate non emergency issues that might crop up. The owners were friendly and down to earth. The facility smelled somewhat like wet dog, bleach and dog food. And the cost was reasonable and did not require a small loan to cover. Home Run!

When we picked the dog up from her first stay at this kennel, she was clean, tired, had eaten the food provided and did not seem traumatized. I sighed with relief.

It’s exactly how I felt when we brought our kids home from their first day at preschool.