neighborhood pickers

Dear neighborhood pickers,

Truly, I applaud your willingness to sift through the detritus we left out for the bulk trash pick-up. I admire the effort to harvest the metals and whatnot you are seeking, items that will bring you some small profit, or large, depending on what gets tossed by the rest of the neighborhood this month. We’re obviously not inclined to turn those pieces of metal, old electronics or whatever, into cash, so if that’s what you’re into, have at it.

I’m not at all bothered by all the rooting around that happens within hours of my tossing out a new pile of stuff. One of the benefits of living on a main road is that if I put something out on the front curb inevitably it is gone within a few hours. Like magic, one minute it’s there, another it’s gone! I like this freecycle process and am happy to know that the gently used items we no longer need or want are useful enough for someone to haul it away. One man’s trash and all that. I am somewhat befuddled by the individual that took the broken rain soaked portable cd player though. That thing? You can do something with that?

What does get my panties in a wad is the utter lack of care exhibited by those of you that come along and sift through those piles, and once you have found whatever jewel is worth taking, you leave that pile spread out in a disorganized mess that spills into my driveway and into the street.

This disregard for the time and effort I’ve put into stacking that stuff into a semblance of order so the town doesn’t come along and fine my ass for littering sets my temper to simmer when I ask you nicely to leave the pile neat when you’re done and yet, when I glance outside later, the crap you’ve looted through resembles a demolition site. Hell, I’ve even helped some of you load heavier items into your battered, junk filled pick-up tricks. All I ask is for a little respect in return.

Let’s face some facts here - my laziness is your reward. You're welcome. If I exhibited just a wee more energy and hauled that stuff to the dump, there would be no treasure pile for you to plunder and turn into cash. So, in the interest of mutual benefit, please have a little decency and leave the pile as neat as possible when you're done so I don’t have to exert myself beyond dropping this stuff curbside on bulk pick up month. Because next time I might just find myself at the dump and there will be no leftovers for your trash picking hands.