monday musings

We spent $250 on groceries the other night and I ate leftover corn and half a can of olives for dinner. Because I had put everything else away.

There should be a law that prohibits people from speaking to me before the first cup of caffeine has passed my lips. There would more happiness in my world if there was such an ordinance in my house.

Watching 6 back to back episodes of Deadliest Catch before going to bed will undoubtedly cause dreams of giant crabs, rogue waves and smelly men. None of this is pleasant to dream about.

If I lived further away from people, I could garden naked.

There are some days I really wish I had magical powers. Just for a little while. Because if I did have magical powers I am sure my restraint would be weak, and inevitably, the magical powers police would come and ticket me for turning random assholes into toads.

The next vacation is always too far away.

After spending $250 on groceries, the teenage boy will consume 3/4 of it within 48 hours.

The trick to managing people is delegating that responsibility to someone else. I am a good delegator.

I believe this is the year both kids will do their own laundry, all the time. This way I will not have to hear the whining when they can't find specific articles of clothing. It will be their problem.

If chocolate isn't handy when it's needed the most, xanax will have to do.

I think the capri's I wore last summer shrunk during winter storage. That can be the only explaination.

NCIS Los Angeles does not compare to NCIS. Chris O'Donnell is no Mark Harmon.

Watching back to back reruns of NCIS will undoubtedly bring about dreams of Mark Harmon. These are pleasant dreams.

I need to stop watching so much television. This is probably how the capri's shrunk.

If I could garden naked, I wouldn't watch so much television.