Turtle Whisperer

(U.S. Fish and Wildlife Department photo)

It all started with this post. Or maybe it was really about a year ago when Giggles and I saw the very small turtle trying unsuccessfully to scale the very large curb to get to the lake on the other side of the road. At least, that's where I assume it was going because my observation prowess is amazing after all. So we pulled over to the side of the road, I dodged a few cars to nip the turtle from being flattened by passing traffic and, after dodging a few more cars, deposited it on the lake side of the road. Where it trundled off into the brush and maybe splashed into the lake.

It could be that all the rain we've had is officially turning New Jersey into a swampland and all the turtles from all the lands are moving in.

Saturday afternoon, on the way to drop Ace at a birthday/end of school party, we encountered another small turtle in the middle of the very busy roadway trying to make its way to the other side. I saw the turtle just before I ran over it. Luckily I missed squishing it and when I said as much to Ace he insisted we turn around and help get it out of the road. Did I mention the very busy road, where the traffic pattern is altered for construction and the speed limit is 50? Get the turtle out of that road. Sure, on a busy Saturday afternoon. No problem.

After making an illegal u-turn, I once again I pulled over but this time I let Ace get out of the car. He needs to learn to dodge traffic, it's a required teenage life skill after all. By this time the poor turtle was now on its back. My car, or one of the dozen or so that passed by it, over it, had flipped it over. Luckily it was still alive, legs flailing in an effort to turn itself over. Ace grabbed it up and brought it back to the car. It was another common snapping turtle, smaller than the one from a few weeks ago. Clearly a staple of the turtle community around these parts. And this one stunk just as bad. Eeewww. Another quick deposit at the edge of the lake and our turtle duty was done for the day.

Until Sunday afternoon. Giggles and I had some errands to run and there it was. Another turtle making its ponderous way across a busy roadway. I pulled the car over to the side of the road and pluckedthis one up and hauled it back to the car. Giggles had a plastic bag in her lap already and I plopped the turtle on it for her to hang onto. This wasn't a snapping turtle and it didn't smell as bad, thankfully. This one had a rounder shell with yellow and red markings, an Easter box turtle it turns out. When I started the car, the turtle pushed its head out all the way and started scrambling over Giggles' lap, looking for the nearest escape route. She almost leapt out of her skin when it started walking across her legs. After a few hundred feet, I pulled back over and placed our newest friend into the woods. At least this one didn't piss on me.

I think word's getting around town about the Terrapin Taxi Service I'm running these days. You know, quick lake or woodside drop-off, safe roadside pick-up.

Just call me the Turtle Whisperer.