Given that the weather was supposed to be absolutely fall beautiful this weekend, I had grand plans. Grand, I tell you! The kind that involved yard work, dog baths and organization. The best kind of grand fall weekend plans. I was going to get things accomplished. That was before I poisoned myself.
If you open a jar of hazelnut spread and it seems to have separated into two distinct forms, take a hint, don't mix the liquid and solid back together again thinking all is fine. Toss that sucker into the trash immediately and find something else to curb the chocolate craving you're having. Or pay the consequences.
Seriously.
I spent the weekend in bed, certain I had the plague. Maybe the plague would not have hurt so much, I'm thinking right now. It felt like the my muscles were being slowly peeled from my bones while a vice was being tightened around my skull. Having to disgorge every bit of liquid in my stomach at regular intervals made the vice tighten even more. I haven't had solid food in three days now. At least today it seems the worst of it has passed. Liquids actually stay where I put them and I can stand without my head spinning off my shoulders or my body shaking uncontrollably.
The kids are old enough to get themselves ready for school with minimal supervision which makes staying in bed later, on mornings like this, possible. The trip to the chiropractor to ease the aches and pains was relatively uneventful until Giggles called to notify me that it was picture day and I had forgotten to write her a check and could I please bring one in. What was I thinking, forgetting picture day? Oh, that's right, I was vomiting.
I'm certain the pale, bleary eyed and slightly shaky woman who walked into the school with checkbook in hand must have startled the poor receptionist. But Giggles was able to get her school pictures taken.
Now, I'm going back to bed to dream of yard work left to do.
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