Freaky little things

If there is one thing that I detest with total conviction, it is spiders. Eight legged crawlies, they move too quickly, are way too sneaky, and are completely nasty little buggers. If there is one in my house and I see it, well then, it is doomed. There is no quarter given.

You have to understand the level of my arachnaphobia. Every night the spider check occurs upon entering the bedroom, none on the walls? check The ceiling? check. Just in case there is one lurking, waiting to descend upon me at a most unsuspecting moment. Since finding a spider under my pillow one night several years ago (the family still gets quite a laugh from that floor show), the pillow is also moved to assure myself there are no surprises there either. I think it stems from the dream I had as a kid about the giant Daddy Longleg in our backyard that no matter how many legs I pulled off, it kept growing them back again to chase me.

Other bugs? I'll help them out the door gracefully.

On my way to work this morning, to enjoy the lovely spring weather, I opened the sunroof. Some freaky spider came tumbling down onto my face before falling into my lap. What ensued can only be described as an utter spaz attack . The wheel jerked, my heart skipped, my hands slapped, my scream erupted and my frantic gaze snapped from my lap to the road and back again. WHERE IS IT? Where where where where, my mind kept screeching as I kept slapped with one hand around my lap trying to make certain the damn thing was dead. If it wasn't dead, it was on me and that was not acceptable.

I can't even begin to imagine what this whole act looked like to the cars around me. The only good thing is that I didn't run into any of them. I don't know if I killed the little f**ker but it didn't crawl up my arm so I have to assume I scared it just as shitless as it scared me so it ran for cover. We all know I will be checking the car very carefully in the morning.